Parents of Special Needs Children vs. Parents of Typical Children

A parent recently shared with me a blog written by a parent of a special needs child. Read the article here:
http://www.ellenstumbo.com/confessions-of-a-special-needs-parent-the-hard-things/

As I read the article, I thought of a recent conversation I had with a parent regarding my typical son. While this parent and I have worked together for the last five years in providing support to her special needs child, initially I was careful in my statements regarding my worries and concerns for my son so as to not be offensive to her or to seem ungrateful for my typical son.

I disguised my worries and fears for him in jokes that had us both enjoying a deep hearty laughter that cleanses the soul and releases stress (contrary to my public persona, I can be a comedic genius in a relaxed atmosphere!).  I shared evidence of his not being ready for the world by relaying stories of his follies over the last year: fender benders, traffic court, and most recently his being offended by a 911 operator that hung up on him when he called to report the emergency of locking his keys in the trunk (he called back to make sure they didn't just get disconnected and was informed to not call again).

As our laughter subsided, the parent said to me, "You  know, I never have to worry about those things."
Honestly, for a moment I was taken aback. She went on to say, "It just hit me how lucky I am to have that kid just the way that she is. I don't have to worry about what is going to happen to her behind the wheel of a car or any of the things you are talking about. I get to do what you wish you could do, which is protect her for the rest of her life. Maybe it won't be me personally doing it forever, but I get to put her in a position that someone is always there looking out for her."

I came to a beautiful realization in that moment. Parents are parents. There was no need for me to be careful in talking about my typical son to her. In fact it was a bit arrogant on my part to think that my concerns about my typical children would be a cause for offense to her. The idea I had that it is poor manners to complain about our typical children to a parent of a special needs child was wrong. Parents are parents.

After I finished the article, Confessions of a Special Needs Parent. I came to the conclusion that I can relate to every confession the mother listed on some level. While I don't understand every challenge faced by parents of special needs children, I do understand what it is to be a mom. Regardless of the package, worry is worry, fear is fear, joy is joy, and love is love. Rather than our looking at the world from our opposite sides, I think it is best for us to understand we are all part of the same coin; if we can do that, we can accomplish amazing things through our acceptance, support, and love of each other.